Original evahulk chapter 5

Brain Dead 12 ½ presents:
Eva hulk
Chapter 5:
Last gasp of the angels
Or
When foreshadowing is done with a brick

(What was true four chapters ago is true now, I own nothing! Well maybe the bad guys but I had to alter a couple of them pretty heavily from how they normally are for this one)

Well Misato’s prediction about Asuka had proven right on the money, being out done by Rei had sent her mood to somewhere south of abysmal, and damned if her house mates weren’t caught in the blast zone. Shinji reacted to it in his normal way, i.e. hide under his bed and pray to any deity he could think of she didn’t look too hard while our Gamma Gals spent a long enough time away from the apartment that Asuka had more or less yelled herself to sleep.
“Well all in all that worked pretty well.” Remarked Misato when they finally got home and noticed Asuka’s indisposed nature.
“Yes. We’ll probably catch hell in the morning though.”
“Don’t matter to me I can never tell what’s going on till I’ve had my morning beer anyhow, I’ll just wait on it. At least we finally managed to calm down enough to change back.”
“Yes. Good idea with hiding those extra sets of clothes around town by the way.”
“Streaking’s fun every once in a while but considering how often this stuff seems to happen....Well anyhow might as well just turn in and await our fate.”
“Sounds fine to me.” Well we’ve got a lot to cover in this one so let’s hit the fast-forward again (Don’t worry won’t be much of that after this chapter).  During this period the marble of doom (It’s as good a name as any that I’m willing to try to spell) made it’s appearance and did what we’re used to it doing that is sucking up unit one. However this time the situation took significantly less time to deal with, turns out a pair of enraged Hulks can do about the same thing to an angel’s insides as a bat shit crazy Eva who knew? Anyhow what we’re focusing on right at the moment was what followed a couple of days later. Our three maladjusted kids were once again at Nerv undergoing yet another battery of tests, but today there was something a little different on the menu.
“Oh I can’t believe this.” Grumbled Asuka as the three arrived at the site of this latest test, which involved piloting special simulation bodies (visually they resemble an unarmored eva with no heads or lower bodies) in a king sized enclosed tank. The reason Asuka was complain so much was since this particular bit of training was going to be done without the usual plugsuits or indeed any kinda clothing what so ever.
“Don’t worry.” Came Ritsuko’s voice. “The cameras are all turned off and there’s no other way anyone could see into that hallway. We do respect your privacy.”
“That’s not what’s worrying me.” Said Asuka giving Shinji a pointed glance. “Wondergirl might be a part time nudist but I’m not!”
“It is difficult finding clothes that fit under those circumstances.” Muttered Rei.
“There they go again...” said Ritsuko. She, Misato, Maya, and a bunch of nameless techincal people all were standing by in the observation room waiting to get the test underway. “How do you put up with that?”
“Same way I dealt with most of colledge. Sweet sweet beer.”
“Should have known.”
“Asuka does bring up a good point though.” Said Maya suddenly. “Why do you and Rei go around like that?”
“Three reasons. One like Rei said it’s hard to find clothes that fit, two for some reason neither of us seem to feel cold when we’re changed and three...Well hell if you were built like that would you wanna cover up?” she asked with a grin. Ritsuko sighed.
“You never change do you and you know damn well what I mean.” Either way things finally got going. And naturally the computer virus angel showed up a minute or so later. Long story short the thing soon worked itself into a full Hoover situation (one damn thing after another). However this time a certain purple haired major ducked out of the thing early.
Misato let out a groan as she approached the entry plugs, carrying robes for the children of course As usual there was a mess to clean up but thankfully this time she didn’t have to worry about coming up with a plan, let Ritsuko and the other mental marvels deal with the angel virus or whatever the hell it was she’d just take care of her house mates. Now you all know that ain’t gonna be what happens so I suppose it’s no surprise to tell ya that there was another party in the area, specifically Shrivanzella (In case I forgot to note that she’s the one that was following Misato around in chapter two) and a party of Legion solders who for the record wear black body suits with red armor plating around the vital areas, and black helmets with built in gas masks and all manner of vision enhancing equipment the Legion’s bat logo feature prominently on the helmet, chest armor and ammo belt buckles. Needless to say they were fairly heavily armed, Shrivanzella herself carrying her signature weapon the shot-sword (Basically a double barreled shotgun with a blade attached.)
“Alright men.” Said the behelmelted warlord. “Looks like it’s time to earn your checks. Is our sniper in position?”
“Yes.” Said the nearest solider.
“Excellent. Everyone keep the objective in mind, we distract them, get a clearer view of their gamma mutants’ capabilities and let the sniper do his job. Let em know we’re here.”
“Acknowledged.” Chorused the soldiers before firing off a volley. Of course by that time Misato had opened the plugs and given the kids a little modesty enhancement. Asuka had naturally started ranting immediately but the sudden burst of machine gun fire that struck the ground near her feet cut that off. Shrivanzella and her troops stepped into view.
“Oh great....Let me guess your with the legion.”
“That we are. Warlord Shrivanzella at your service.”
“So you guys were just standing out here hoping something like this would happen?”
“No. We knew about the virus angel so Nagaii left a little bug in the Magi. Course I’d imagine that situation is taken care of by now.”
“Well what ever...” said Misato giving a glance to Rei as the two wondered if they could change before the other side could fire. Of course they didn’t have long to wait as Shrivanzella gave a barely perceptible nod to one of her troops and Rei found herself shot in the arm, the pain causing her change. Then much to her and Misato’s surprise the wound proceeded to heal.
“I thought as much...” said Shrivanzella. “Okay boys, get em!” The soldiers then charged, Rei covering Misato while she changed. The resulting battle was really rather one sided since most of the firepower the legion soldiers had couldn’t do much more then tickle the two gamma gals, though Shrivanzella got their attention a few times particularly after she demonstrated her rather unique talents of pyrokinetics and fire breathing, but it should be noted that she wasn’t going all out (if she can get her flames hot enough to do preminate damage to a Hulk is something we’re going to find out about later.) since she was just waiting for the sniper shot, which for the record was being aimed at Asuka while all this was going on. Anyhow things went on for a while then Shriv gave the sniper his cue and Asuka who along with Shinji had just been trying to get out of the way ended up taking the hit.
“Damn it...” said She Hulk tossing away another legion trooper.
“Get her back to the base I can handle this!” said R-Hulk.
“Right.” Shouted the green giantess scooping up her injured charge and hoofing it back to Nerv, where indeed the latest angel problem had been dealt with. Quickly she rushed Asuka to the medical area, grabbing a robe and changing back when she arrived. The docs quickly got to work. Now to make a long story short I’ll just tell you Asuka needed a blood transfusion (provided by Misato) and was likely to be comatose for a while. Anyhow not long after Asuka had been laid out Rei and Shinji returned.
“How is she?” asked Shinji.
“She’s going to be out for a while but she’ll live, the bullet went right through but it missed everything vital. Somehow I get the feeling that was the idea.”
“What do you mean?”
“This Legion seems to be a real bunch of drama queens. They aren’t interested in really causing any damage now, they just want to scare us.”
“They’re doing a good job....” remarked Shinji.
“So what happens when they stop playing games?” said Rei.
“I don’t know...but consider what’s happened already it’s not going to be pretty. Speaking of which would you mind if Rei and me talked alone for a while? Hulk problems.”
“It’s alright.” Shinji said before shuffling off.
“What’s wrong?” said Rei, although she had a good idea.
“Well I’m not really sure if there’s going to be a problem but I ended up being Asuka’s blood donor.”
“Your afraid she might also be affected?”
“Yeah....And let’s be honest here I don’t see self control as being one of her strengths. Never mind the Legion or the angels when she wakes up we’ve got a lot of potential for trouble....Of course I might be worried over nothing...”
“But we should be prepared just in case.”
“Right. As mad as she is most of the time I don’t even want to think about what she’d be like if she changed.”
“Yes. I’ve been thinking, perhaps we should try adding strength training to our morning regiment.”
“Oh? Why?”
“Considering what likely to happen when Pilot L...I mean Asuka wakes up it might be better if we could count on being more physically able from the start.”
“In other words hope that if we’re stronger as ourselves we’ll be stronger as R-hulk and She hulk.”
“Yes. And hope that will make a difference. Both with Asuka and also any other surprises that the Legion arranges, I doubt they’ll be playing games for much longer.”
“You too huh?” Well a few days passed, with nothing special going on, Asuka stayed out of the picture, Misato and Rei began their revised training program, and also Shinji and Rei took to visiting Asuka’s bedside frequently (And before anyone says anything no he didn’t disgrace himself at anytime during any of those visits.) Rei pondered how to go about revealing certain facts to her housemates, Kaji snooped around Gendo just tried to avoid getting an ulcer. We focus our attention for the moment on a meeting between Gendo and Seele that took place roughly three days after the viral angel incident (If you wanna type those biblical names that’s your business I’ve got enough trouble with the folks I came up with.) that was of course devoted to Gendo denying said incident happened.
“So you still calm that neither the angel nor the incident with this Legion group occurred?”
“You honestly believe either situation is possible?” said Gendo is usual cast iron poker face in check. Needless to say they did however further debate was cut short by a rather strange occurrence. Specifically Seele four’s hologram suddenly went out. Before anyone could figure out what happened the familiar sound only monolith appeared. A deep rumbling voice obviously not that of the council member addressed the group.
“Greetings gentlemen.” It said, “I am called Nescaro, Emperor of the Neo-Sapien Legion. I trust you’ve all been enjoying our little sideshow. Incidentally in case your wondering yes I am coming to you from your late comrade’s location, rather lax security all around I fear.”
“And what,” said Keel trying his best to keep an even voice, “makes you think we’ll believe a word you say or be intimidated by threats?”
“It really doesn’t matter if you believe me or not, you’ve all been in denial about plenty of things already what’s one more? Anyhow consider this a formal declaration of war on your council. Within the next 2 months every one listening to my voice now will be dead. There will be no third impact, your precious instrumentality is nothing but a fools labor.”
“You don’t know...” began Keele
“I know a comfortable amount more then any of you self absorbed insects. I know where all of you are, I know every backer, patsy and lapdog you have, and that ending up a pile of goo to please a bunch of half dead rat bastards isn’t the way I wanna go out thank you so very much. Anyway gentlemen that will be all, see you soon.” With that he let out a booming laugh before the monolith faded out. While all that was going on there was another equally interesting scene as Kaji made his way to terminal dogma, and was surprised by Misato. And Rei. And Shinji.
“Well I wasn’t expecting a party down here.”
“Can it. Rei said she needed to show us something here.”
“Yes. This and a few other things, but I’m not sure how to present the second.”
“Alright shall we?” said Kaji as he opened the door and the three entered. Of course we all know what’s in there so let’s skip to the reactions.
“So what the hell is that?” said Misato.
“My second mother...Lilith the second angel.” Said Rei.
“Lilith? Wait a second I thought that was Adam.” Said Kaji
“No. Adam is...not here. The commander thinks he has him but....”
“The Legion?” said Misato.
“I can answer that.” Put in Kaji. “Damn it I knew something funny happened....They made a hell of a fake though. If they have the real Adam they’ve probably destroyed it.”
“Is that even possible?” said Shinji whose brain was struggling to take all this in.
“For anyone else it’d a toss up. I met their leader once I really don’t think there’s much that’s really beyond him. ...If you can call that thing human.”
“Huh?” said Misato.
“He’s a gamma mutant. Like you and Rei, except he’s like that all the time...He didn’t just get the muscles though, he’s got an IQ that’s off the charts. If anyone could find a way to destroy Adam he could.”
“I’d ask how you know about me and Rei but really I’m not all that surprised.”
“You know me, can’t let well enough alone. Oh by the way remember when I told you green wasn’t your color back in college? I was wrong.”
“Ha ha. This isn’t time for jokes though.”
“Wait a second.” Said Shinji. “Rei you said that thing’s your second mother....”
“Yes. I was created from Lilith and the DNA of a human woman....”
“My mother?”
“Yes.....”
“So your my sister?”
“In a manner of speaking....I know I should have told you sooner but.....”
“Actually I’m kind of relieved. That explains why you remind me so much of her. And....well I’d rather not go into that.” He smiled a very rare thing that. “It’s going to take some getting used to I really don’t have any idea how families act and all but it’s kind of...nice.” Rei smiled then hugged him.
“Thank you, brother.” She whispered. Misato and Kaji just stood there letting the siblings have their moment. Rei however quickly got back to business. “There’s one other thing you all should see. I’d like to wait till Asuka recovers but I’m not sure how much longer the commander is going to buy my act that I’m still his puppet.” Disgust was pretty plain in her voice when she said that. With that she led them to the ever-popular room of the Rei tank (for those that don’t know they’ve got a whole load of spare Reis in there.). Needless to say that got a fairly big reaction.
“Damn...” said Kaji. “Ikari doesn’t believe in taking chances with his resources does he?” The others except Rei were too stunned to say anything. The blue haired girl though had a fair amount to say.
“Yes. And when he figures out I no longer agree with his plans he’ll try to replace me.” She looked at her doubles. “It never bothered me knowing about this before but now....It just infuriates me...” and her red eyes got a little darker at this point, her hair extending a small but noticeable amount.
“Oh damn...” said Misato, “I think she might be getting mad enough to force a change.....Might be a good idea to give her some room people.” Indeed it was by that moment pretty obvious Rei was turning into R-hulk as she grew rather explosively, adding yet another school uniform to her tailor bill and once the change was completed reared back and sent her fist slamming into the clone tank, handily shattering it.
“There....” she said simply. “I feel a lot better now.”
“Remind me to watch what I say around these two Shinji.” Said Kaji. The younger Ikari could only nod. Anyhow let’s do the time warp again. Well then angel order was still a little messed up it seems since the next one ended up being the wheel of light, which frankly I can’t even be bothered to think about, sufficient to say he was taken out rather quickly though unit 0 still bought the farm Rei obviously didn’t (them hulks is mighty resilient.) while Seele’s number went down faster then a lady of the evening at Hugh Hefner’s, the Legion quickly proving they hadn’t been bluffing (and they also made sure the whole 17th angel thing wasn’t going down, sorry but I really don’t think I could have done anything with Karou here). Then of course old ribbon arms made his appearance (Rei now temporarily piloting unit 2) about a week and a half later. Well that one went a bit differently since he didn’t end up being kibble but the end result for him was about the same (She Hulk torn the armor plating off his core while the Evas drew his fire and Shinji knifed him.) We turn our attention now to a particularly special day about a week after all that went down. Shinji and Rei were visiting Asuka again as usual giving her the details of what was going on.
“And so that’s about it.” Said Shinji, he as usual being the one doing the most talking. “You have anything you want to say?”
“Only that the house is still too quite.” She said.
“Damn wonder girl, even your jokes are getting bitchier.” Said the red head, suddenly opening her eyes.
“What the...You awake!”
“Of course I am, how do you expect anyone to sleep with you two babbling all the time....How long have I been out?”
“It’s been a while.” Said Rei as Shinji called the doctors in. Well after a few tests it was determined she had made a full recovery, and naturally that was when what’s going to turn out to be the last angel for this version of the story decided to kinda show up, I say kinda since this is the one that stayed in orbit. Well long story short Asuka managed to shout her way back into the cockpit and got zapped by this particular model’s rather bizarre thought scan beam, though She hulk pushed unit two out of the beam after a few minutes and was too small for the floating whatever the hell you’d call that thing to get a fix on and R-hulk played javelin thrower ending that problem. However Asuka was under the beam long enough to get a fair amount of her brain peered at (Causing the angel to let out it’s version of a scream of relief when it died) so...
“Asuka,” said Shinji awkwardly. “I’m glad you’re all right.”
“Oh just shut up, I can’t stand listening to you. I can’t stand any of this!” she bellowed her eyes flashing green.
“Ohhhhhh,” chorused She hulk R-hulk and Shinji, “shit.”